Gods & Mortals
Part 1: Here & There
TITLE PAGE
The title page should be a simple, full-length portrait of
If and Io. Perhaps they are simply
floating side by side, looking impassively into camera, “floating at attention”
if you will. They look perfect,
indomitable, inscrutable. Perhaps the background
is split in half down the vertical, one side a block of pure black, one side a
block of pure white. If, with her black
costume, will be on the left in front of the white half of the background, Io
will be on the right in front of the black half.
An alternative to this image might be to have a ‘split
screen’ effect where If’s right hand side is lined up with Io’s left hand side,
creating the illusion of a being that is half woman, half man. The circles on their chests would line up
perfectly, emphasising how their costumes are negative versions of each
other. Again, the background would be
split down the middle into black and white.
This could be a full-length portrait or perhaps closer in, from the
waist up.
The whole effect should be very classic, minimalist and
enigmatic. Who are these powerful,
emotionless looking beings?
In either of these two options, the title of the episode, “Here & There” will also be split in half by the background, so “Here” will be in black letters above If, against a white background and “There” will be in white letters above Io against a black background. The “&” will be split in two, half black and half white. The font used for the title will be very bold and simple, something like this (Arial Black)…
PAGE 1
FULL PAGE PANEL – An uneven belt of white and
otherwise featureless cylinders float in space in the foreground dwarfed by the
crescent of the alien planet they orbit.
The surface of the planet clearly shows signs of precisely designed and
organised cities in amongst its natural landscapes. Proportionally the cylinders are roughly equivalent to two tins
of soup, one stacked on top of the other.
They differ from each other only in size, but these differences can be
great: some are relatively huge, some relatively tiny.
CAPTION (in a very circular font) – There are things that
nobody ever does, things that, when they were impossible, we would love to have
tried.
JOOM: (from within a tiny cylinder, in the same circular
font): Is such a thing possible, Dom?
What does Tier 3 say?
PAGE 2
PANEL 1 – Wide establishing shot. Interior of the cylinder.
Our heroes, two shiny metallic spheres, one slightly larger than the
other, float in a spherical chamber.
There are cylindrical ‘corridors’ and circular ‘doors’, some open, some
closed, connecting this chamber to others.
It is a gravity free environment so the chamber can be entered from any
direction. There’s a minimal amount of
panelling on the wall of the chamber, enough to show the curvature of the surface. In the centre of the chamber is a spherical
‘holo-screen’ showing a view of the cosmos that the two spheres (Hebs) are
‘looking’ at.
CAPTION – Now we are a highly evolved, long established
galactic civilisation these things are easily possible for all of us. Now we don’t do them, not because we can’t,
but because it simply never occurs to us.
DOM (larger of the two spheres and also in the circular
font): Tier 3 doesn’t say anything, Joom, because I haven’t informed them. I’d rather report the results after the
fact. But it is definitely possible.
PANEL 2 – Inset panel perhaps. Medium shot on one of the spheres (DOM).
CAPTION – At least…not to most of us, that is.
DOM: I’ve identified a suitable planet already.
PANEL 3 – Medium shot.
The two spheres in conversation.
The holo-screen is centred between and beyond them.
JOOM: I feel uneasy about this. Even if you have found a primitive civilisation that doesn’t have
an observation code on it, who’s to say what the consequences of making contact
would be?
DOM: But, Joom, that’s exactly the point. We live in a society that has developed
beyond the need for laws, and yet more than ever our behaviour has become
predictable…pedestrian.
PANEL 4 – Close on DOM.
The holo-screen is directly behind ‘him’, filling the background so it
looks like he’s a planet floating in space.
DOM: There’s more to this galaxy than you’ll ever find
filed in any tier archive. Let’s do
something different! Let’s go and
introduce ourselves!
PAGE 3
PANEL 1 – Long shot.
The cylinder points towards the reader, leaving the planet and the other
cylinders behind and below.
CAPTION – Dom had always been the impetuous one, an
irresistible force, at least to me. His
lovemaking was undeniably immature, yet strangely compelling.
DOM: Look, let me show you how I found it.
2nd CAPTION – I often wondered where my
collusion with him would lead.
PANEL 2 – Large panel.
Medium shot, angle down on the two Hebs looking into the holo-screen,
which shows a representation of the entire Milky Way galaxy. Circular labels containing the circular
characters of an alien language are connected to various locations in the
galaxy. One location in particular has
a larger, brighter marker than the rest.
DOM: I ran a search on unvisited, non-coded planets with
life-supporting potential. I got 6.9
million results in the Mondran Sector alone.
You see, Joom? We tend to think
of the Heb Collective as being definitive for sentience in our galaxy. We forget how much more there is than just
us.
JOOM: 6.9 million!
That’s amazing. How did you
narrow it down?
DOM: Aha! I ran an anomaly search and had the results
rated according to sudden frequency changes most likely to have technological
sources. The top contenders from that
list were then sorted by the size and topicality of the differentiation.
JOOM: And…?
DOM: This planet here…not only is it transmitting a
particular band of radio and sub ether waves but it also recently became the
location of not one but two metasingularities, which arose simultaneously! I sent a scout and it confirmed a tier 12
level civilisation.
PANEL 3 – Medium shot.
The two spheres in conversation.
JOOM: Tier 12!
That shouldn’t produce a metasingularity.
DOM: I know.
Intriguing, isn’t it?
PANEL 4 – Shot as previous.
JOOM: Dom, each new thing you say increases my unease. How long before we arrive?
DOM: We’re arriving now, my love. Look…
PAGE 4
PANEL 1 – Half page panel.
Angle down. The Cylinder in the
foreground floats above the planet Earth.
North America is clearly visible.
All speech bubbles come from within the cylinder.
BUBBLE 1: …the inhabitants call it TERRA!
BUBBLE 2: I don’t like the sound of that.
BUBBLE 3: Come on, where’s your sense of adventure?
BUBBLE 4: Smothered by my sense of foreboding. Dom, I know why you’re doing this.
BUBBLE 5: Oh?
BUBBLE 6: You just want to feel powerful.
BUBBLE 7: I hadn’t given it much thought, but that makes
sense. And your point?
BUBBLE 8: I just don’t know if it’s going to work.
PANEL 2 – Wide shot, angled up. The cylinder, as big as a skyscraper, floating in the sky over
New York.
CAPTION: Dom chose one of their key cities for our
landing. We came in slowly, giving them
time to get out of the way. My emotions
stirred within me, a mixture: of trepidation at our obvious folly, and love…for
a Heb who was ever able to surprise me.
We merged auras, shared our frequencies, knew each other intimately as
our ship sank.
PANEL 3 – Long shot, angled down. The cylinder, standing on its end in Central Park, surrounded by
crowds that the police is trying to push back.
A few tanks and army helicopters have turned up.
CAPTION: We found a place to park. It was my first ever sight of Central Park
in the spring.
PAGE 5
PANEL 1 – Wide shot, angled down. A circular opening has appeared at the base of the cylinder and
the two HEBs have emerged along with a new, smaller sphere that is clearly
mechanical in nature. All three spheres
are floating, their centres approximately three metres from the ground. DOM, the largest, is roughly three metres in
diameter, JOOM isn’t much smaller. The
translating drone is small, little bigger than a human head. The first line of human defence is three
tanks, all pointing in towards the aliens.
A brave soldier (don’t know the appropriate rank!) stands by a tank with
a loud hailer.
CAPTION: We took a translating drone and ventured out to
meet the natives.
SOLDIER WITH LOUD HAILER (As he is human the soldier has an
ordinary comic strip font): Stop right there!
You’re standing on…er, floating over American soil! Don’t make any sudden moves!
PANEL 2 – Close on the 3 spheres.
DOM: >Translation?<
TRANSLATOR DRONE (in the usual circular font used by Hebs):
>Calculating…please wait…OK: Maintain spatial co-ordinates. You are oriented upright. You are levitating over this sector’s
landscape’s main constituent. Do not
velocitate rapidly. End.<
PANEL 3 – Same scene from a different angle at artist’s
discretion.
JOOM: >Has this drone been calibrated?<
DOM: >It’s been analysing their transmissions but early
interactions are bound to be sketchy.
Sounds like they’re worried we might cause damage to their ground if we
move too fast. Their modes of transport
are mostly friction based, you know.<
PANEL 4 – Close on JOOM.
Beyond her a flying superhero is approaching.
JOOM: >I think more is being lost in translation than
you realise. Oh, look! Something’s coming…and without friction.<
PANEL 5 – Wide shot.
The super heroine, IF, ‘pulling up’ midair to levitate before, and slightly
above, the HEBs in an upright position.
IF: Ok, what’s all this?
Is there somebody in there? Can
you speak American?
TRANSLATING DRONE: >Calculating…OK: Affirmative, what is
everything? Is there a being within
these spatial co-ordinates? Are you
able to verbalise, native of this country? End.<
PANEL 6 – Shot as previous, but IF is floating in the air
in an upright, rather stern stance.
DOM: >This is going to be harder than I thought. I think we should morph, to reassure
them.<
PAGE 6
PANEL 1 – Wide shot.
The two HEBs transform their shape to mimic IF’s physical outline. The end result is a pair of women who seem
to have been styled after the Silver Surfer, but DOM is about nine feet tall
and JOOM is about eight feet tall. IF
registers surprise as this transformation takes place. [Note to artist: whether you want to show
this morphing process in one panel or show it incrementally in multiple panels,
I’ll leave to your discretion.]
DOM: >Translator…tell it we have come with peaceful intentions to share our knowledge in order to help the primitives of this planet to evolve into higher beings such as ourselves.<
TRANSLATOR DRONE: >Calculating…OK:<
PANEL 2 – The silvery replicas of IF float in the air
before her, mimicking her powerful stance.
It looks like a face off with all the power on their side (they’ve also
risen to her height, which actually means they’re looking down on her now on
account of their greater size).
TRANSLATOR DRONE: We have arrived. We bring restful plans to impart known
things to cause the consequence that your rudimentary species will improve and
be like us.
IF: Oh, yes? That’s
your style, is it? Nice of you to be so
up front about it.
PANEL 3 – Medium shot on the three spheres.
TRANSLATOR DRONE: > Calculating…OK: Affirmative. Is such your fashion? It is pleasing that you should be located to
the fore of such a thing. End.<
DOM: >That sounds positive.<
JOOM: >Hmm.<
PANEL 4 – Close on DOM.
DOM: >Translator…tell it I am pleased to receive a
co-operative response, and that I look forward to showing the human race a
higher way of being.<
TRANSLATING DRONE (out of shot): >Calculating…OK:<
PANEL 5 – Medium shot on IF, looking stern and majestic.
TRANSLATING DRONE (out of shot): I am happy to have your
subservient answer. I gaze ahead to
displaying the human species. A
superior method of existing.
IF: You’re all the same, aren’t you?
TRANSLATING DRONE (out of shot): >Calculating…<
PAGE 7
PANEL 1 – Large panel. Wide shot. With a titanic punch IF sends DOM smashing down into the ground. JOOM shows no reaction, slow to adjust the stance of her alien form.
TRANSLATING DRONE: >OK: Hebs are similarly configured,
aren’t they?<
PANEL 2 – Over the shoulder shot, angled down. IF looks down at the result of her
punch. DOM is half embedded in the
ground. His form is brittle and
cracked. Most of his head is missing. He looks like a metallic statue that has had
half its head knocked off. JOOM floats
above him, transformed back into a sphere.
She has a speech bubble but it’s filled with the circular characters of
her alien language. The DRONE
translates her…
TRANSLATING DRONE: Dom.
What has it done? It has
nullified you. I cannot see your energy
matrix. Dom. I beseech you to live. Do
not leave me in isolation. Dom.
PANEL 3 – Wide shot.
IF looks up and to the side to see the superhero, IO, flying down to
join her.
IO: If, what goes on?
IF: Not sure, Io. I
may have broken a robot…but I suspect I’ve killed an alien.
PANEL 4 – Wide shot.
JOOM still floats above her dead lover.
The two superheroes still float in the air looking down. JOOM spouts more circular characters in a
stressed speech bubble.
TRANSLATING DRONE: Why did you stop his life? He has not yet completed school. His function here was merely to interact.
IF: A school kid?
Oh, shit!
IO: We’d better get that thing out of here.
PAGE 8
PANEL 1 – Wide shot, angle down. IF and IO are flying away from the scene, up towards camera,
carrying JOOM between them. The
TRANSLATOR DRONE is following them.
JOOM is speaking in her alien language.
CAPTION – They took me away from the ship. I was too shocked to resist and never saw it
again. I know Dom would have been
philosophical about it. He would have
embraced the adventure of exile amongst the primitives as a happy consequence
of living unconventionally.
TRANSLATING DRONE: >…Dom displayed to me the untopical
marvels that would not otherwise have entered my range…<
PANEL 2 – Long shot.
The foreground is lined by the heads and shoulders of a crowd of
ordinary people who are being kept back by a police cordon. In the background the military cautiously
approaches the open door to the ship, rifles pointed forward, while the two
superheroes fly away with JOOM and the DRONE.
In the crowd, watching the action, are SUE and JON, a pair of
thirty-somethings in casual clothes.
CAPTION – But I had always been a conventional heb, content
to think of life much as the hebs around me did, with only minor
variations. And here I was, trapped in
the adventure that should have been Dom’s while his energy pattern had gone on
to find an even greater one.
SUE: Looks like we’ve been saved again.
JON: Yeah. Look at
them go. I wonder what it’s like.
PANEL 3 – Shot as previous but the heroes and the Hebs are
gone now and SUE and JON are looking at each other.
CAPTION – There were times when we would merge fields, when
he would look into my core and see the whole cosmos there. What am I to do now, amongst these near
blind creatures?
SUE: I think the show’s over. We should head back, get our bags packed.
JON: Missed my chance for an autograph.
PANEL 4 – Wide shot, angle down. The crowd is loosening slightly.
Many are still watching the scene but some are turning away. SUE and JON are walking away together.
SUE: You’d have the balls to talk to If?
JON: No! So? She might spontaneously offer.
PAGE 9
PANEL 1 – SUE and JON walking through New York.
SUE: You know, you could never have sex with her. She’d crush your puny body between her
thighs the instant she got excited.
JON: Ha! So you
admit I could get her excited?
PANEL 2 - SUE and JON walking through New York.
SUE: You’d be crippled.
JON (looking upwards dreamily): Mmm, yes. I would.
PANEL 3 - SUE and JON walking through New York.
SUE: Gods and mortals should never mate. It always ends in tears.
PANEL 4 - JON looks at her with a gentle smile as they
walk.
PANEL 5 - SUE and JON walking through New York.
JON: You’re probably right.
SUE: Uh huh.
PANEL 6 – JON looking ahead now. SUE looks at him as they walk.
PANEL 7 – Wide shot.
SUE and JON walk away from us, holding hands now.
PAGE 10
PANEL 1 - SUE and JON walking through New York.
SUE: Tell me what you’re thinking.
JON: Ah, I hate it when women say that.
PANEL 2 - SUE and JON walking through New York.
SUE: How come?
JON: Because, obviously, if I were wanting to share my
thoughts at any given moment then I’d be doing it.
PANEL 3 - SUE and JON walking through New York.
SUE: If I didn’t prompt you to speak once in a while I’d go
months without hearing your voice.
JON: I just like to think thoughts that are just for me now
and again.
PANEL 4 - SUE and JON walking through New York.
SUE: It’s so excluding.
JON: Women are just compulsive communicators.
PANEL 5 - SUE and JON walking through New York.
SUE: What’s wrong with communicating?
JON: What’s wrong with blessed, peaceful silence now and
again? Are you all so terrified to
spend just a little time in the quiet of your own thoughts?
PANEL 6 – SUE and JON walking through New York in
silence. SUE’s mouth is a bitter
line. JON looks at her with a nervous,
sideways glance.
PAGE 11
PANEL 1 – Quarter page panel. SUE and JON in the foreground, walking along in profile, left to
right across the page. Across the
street from them is a row of houses, which we can see in full, ground floor to
roof, plus some sky.
JON: I was just thinking…
SUE: I don’t want to know.
JON: I was just thinking…hey, what’s that noise…
PANEL 2 – Quarter page panel. This panel is simply a continuation of the previous – the row of
houses matches up seamlessly. SUE and
JON are in a state of alarm as a spaceship crashes into the row of houses.
JON: HOLY SHIT!
PANEL 3 – Half page panel.
The shot is a match for the two panels above combined. Smoke billows out of the roof and upper
windows of the house through which the tale of the spaceship is jutting. Various superheroes and super villains are
flying about, fighting, shooting energy beams at each other and such.
SUE: Oh, my god!
Can you believe that? There must
be people dead in there.
JON: We’ve gotta get our bags packed.
PAGE 12
PANEL 1 – Wide shot.
A commercial flight taking off from a runway at night.
CAPTION (ordinary comic strip font, of course): The early
hours.
(From within plane): So…what were you thinking?
PANEL 2 – Medium shot.
SUE and JON sitting in the plane (SUE has the window seat). In the third seat is a middle-aged woman
wearing an “I © NY”
T-shirt. SUE and JON are both gazing
out the passenger window expressionlessly, even as they converse.
JON: Ah! So there’s
no pressure for it to be something meaningful…after all that build up.
SUE: You don’t have to say.
PANEL 3 – Close on JON.
JON: What was I thinking about? I was thinking about how it’s the same everywhere. Wanting to get away from New York and back
home feels just like it did when I moved from London to the wilds of
northernmost Scotland. Running from the
madness.
PANEL 4 – Close on SUE’s profile. Beyond her, through the window, can be seen the wing of the
plane. A generic caped super hero is
flying alongside the plane.
SUE: Just because you get away from it doesn’t mean it’s
not still there, you know.
PANEL 5 – Medium shot of JON and the MIDDLE-AGED
WOMAN. They’re both looking in the
direction of the window.
JON: Sure it does.
If it’s not in front of my face, and not in my thoughts, then it isn’t
part of my universe…literally.
PANEL 6 – Medium shot on SUE and JON. SUE is looking into his face.
SUE: You might miss this place when you’re faced with the
allotment steering group.
PANEL 7 – Large Panel.
Wide shot, angled down. The
plane flies over New York. The
spaceship sticking out of the row of houses can be seen below, still
smouldering, attended on by fire engines and rescue services. Several superheroes are flying this way and
that, various futuristic craft can be seen flying about in the distance. Against the skyline can be seen the
silhouette of a giant robot shooting energy beams into a building. Clouds of smoke are rising from various locations
around it.
(From within the plane at the location JON is sitting): No,
Sue, not this home boy.
PAGE 13
PANEL 1 – Establishing shot: unnamed one-platform train
station of a small Scottish town. No
people in sight.
CAPTION: Half a day, half a world later.
PANEL 2 – Wide shot on a bench on the platform, angled
down. MELANIE is sitting waiting, hands
in the pockets of her coat, staring into space.
PANEL 3 – Close on MELANIE’s profile. She’s looking ahead without expression.
PANEL 4 – Angle down on MELANIE’s feet, which are crossed
at the ankle. She’s wearing hiking
boots.
PANEL 5 – Over the shoulder shot from behind MELANIE. On the opposite side of the track is a
rather featureless wall. Weeds have
been allowed to grow from between the paving slabs of the platform.
PANEL 6 – Identical shot to Panel 3, only MELANIE’s head is
turned away from us, looking off down the track at an approaching train.
PANEL 7 – Wide angle down on the side of the train pulled
in at the platform. SUE has disembarked. Her baggage is at her feet. She is cocking her head at MELANIE who is
walking towards her. JON is emerging
from the train carrying more heavy baggage.
PAGE 14
PANEL 1 – Medium shot.
SUE and JON standing and facing MELANIE who is standing before them,
looking at them. They’re all in
profile. The train is just beyond them
providing the background. They’re all
wearing half smiles.
PANEL 2 – Shot as previous but now the girls are
talking. SUE is reacting with surprise.
MELANIE: Anyway, so Marvin and Sandra have split up.
SUE: Ahh, nooo! I
knew it!
PANEL 3 – Shot as previous. SUE and MELANIE hug.
MELANIE: So how many heroes did you see?
SUE: About ten fucking thousand. So she’s with Dingbert then?
How’s Marv?
PANEL 4 – The embrace has been disengaged.
MELANIE: Yeah she is.
Hitting the bottle. Did you talk
to any? Did you touch any? Hiya, Jon.
PANEL 5 – Shot as previous. JON and MELANIE hug.
JON: Hiya, lovely.
SUE: No, but Jon saw If and squirted sticky stuff in his
pants. So has she moved in with him?
PANEL 6 – Wide angle down as they begin to walk along the
platform, all carrying some of the baggage.
MELANIE: Not completely.
She made Marv move out though.
Did If look good in the flesh, Jon?
SUE: Oh, the fucking witch!
PAGE 15
PANEL 1 – Wide shot.
The three approach the end of the platform.
JON: I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll cum again.
PANEL 2 – Shot as previous. The three are all laughing.
MELANIE is doubled over with hysterics.
PANEL 3 – Wide angle down that takes in the part of the
station that meets the edge of the car park.
Our three heroes are walking out onto the car park. MELANIE is looking pensive.
SUE: So where is he staying?
MELANIE: Er…he was kind of staying at your place…
PANEL 4 – Medium shot.
SUE and JON have stopped walking and are staring at MELANIE with
expressionless faces. MELANIE is
tensed, as though waiting for a piano to fall on her.
PANEL 5 – Shot as previous.
MELANIE: He’s not there now. He’s bunking at some guy’s – a friend from
Shared Soil.
PANEL 6 – Shot as previous. Again they stare at her without expression.
PANEL 7 – Shot as previous.
MELANIE: The place is clean…I checked it!
PAGE 16
PANEL 1 – Wide shot.
A small, battered hatchback is driving merrily through the small
Scottish town, perhaps making a tight corner, two of its tires not quite
touching the road.
SPEECH BUBBLE 1 (from within the car, at the front): …blab,
blab, blab, blab…
SPEECH BUBBLE 2 (from within the car, at the front): …blab,
blab, blab, blab…
PANEL 2 – Looking through the windscreen we see MELANIE is
driving and SUE is in the passenger seat next to her. They are chatting happily away to each other. JON can be seen sitting in the back, his
face turned to one side as he gazes out a window, a small smile on his face.
MELANIE: …blab, blab, blab, blab…
SUE: …blab, blab, blab, blab…
PANEL 3 – Exact same image but zoomed in so that MELANIE’s
and SUE’s happy open mouths are only just within the panel and our attention is
centred on JON.
PANEL 4 – A wide shot as seen by Jon from the car: an old
man walking a dog through the town.
PANELS 5-10 – A sequence of details in small
panels as seen from JON’s POV as the car takes him home: a bus stop with school
kids, the side of a house with fields visible in the background, a hedge with a
telephone pole, a distant hill with a farmhouse on it, a buzzard flying, open
fields dissected by hedgerows and pine trees.
PAGE 17
PANEL 1 – Large establishing shot: Wide angle down on what
was once a farm but is now a timber construction business. The farmhouse is halfway through being
modernised, though the doors are still temporary chipboard. A caravan with a wood-burning stove has been
turned into an office. Some large old
stone barns are acting as the sawmill.
There are various areas where raw logs are piled. Processed wood is stacked along the side of
the barn. Away to one side is another
caravan and two mobile homes cum chalets (SUE and JON live in one of these,
MELANIE lives in the other). MELANIE’s
car pulls off the dirt track to park near the first chalet.
SPEECH BUBBLE 1 (from within the car, at the front): …blab,
blab, blab, blab…
SPEECH BUBBLE 2 (from within the car, at the front): …blab,
blab, blab, blab…
PANEL 2 – Wide shot.
SUE and MELANIE are hefting heavy baggage out of the boot of the car
while JON sits against the bonnet, looking around, smiling, glad to be back.
SUE (in a small ‘mumbling font’): …blab, blab, blab, blab…
MELANIE (also mumbling): …blab, blab, blab, blab…
PANEL 3 – Same shot but JON is talking to himself and the
girls have stopped blabbing and are watching him with sudden interest.
JON: Ah, sweet relative sanity! It’s good to be back.
PAGE 18
PANEL 1 – Interior, SUE and JON’s kitchen/living room. Close on door opening. JON, SUE and MELANIE are leaning into the
room, all curious to see what kind of state it’s in.
PANEL 2 – Wide shot, angled down. They have now moved further into the room. SUE is looking at a small box and a piece of
paper on a table. JON and MELANIE are
inspecting other parts of the room to make sure things are ship-shape.
JON: Looks alright.
SUE: Hey, look…chocs!
PANEL 3 – Over the shoulder shot between SUE and JON. Sue’s holding a handwritten note that reads:
“HEY GUYS, THANX FOR NOT KNOWING I WAS HERE.
HOPE YOU HAD A NICE TIME. MARV
x”
PANEL 4 – Medium shot.
SUE and JON look at each other.
SUE (sentimental): Aaahh…
JON (excited): Tea and chocs!
PANEL 5 – Wide shot.
Our three heroes are slumped on a settee drinking from large mugs and
gorging on chocolates. JON is checking
the card that describes the chocolates with a frown.
MELANIE: So, come on, Sue…New York! How was the convention? Did you find out If and Io’s true origin
story?
JON: Has somebody had the amaretto praline?
SUE: I had it by mistake.
Er…the convention was brilliant.
As for If and Io, so far they’ve got four origin stories…
PAGE 19
PANEL 1 – Bust shot including all three of them. JON is looking grumpy because he can’t have
an amaretto praline. SUE is oblivious
to, or uninterested in, his distress as she talks happily to MELANIE.
SUE: I talked to Greg Noonan, who writes The Unknowables,
the comic they first appeared in, and he said that If and Io are the results of
an alien attempt to communicate with humanity…
JON (thinks): [No words but an image of a skull and crossed
bones.]
PANEL 2 – Medium shot on GREG NOONAN, a tall man in a
crumpled jacket with unruly black hair and a bristly black moustache signing a
comic for MELANIE. He is talking as he
signs. She is listening avidly, a
little star struck. In the background a
crowded comics convention is in full flow (so some of the people are dressed as
superheroes or Star Wars storm troopers, obviously). There’s a large sign on the far wall with the convention’s logo:
NEW YORK COM CON.
GREG NOONAN: …When putting its psychic feelers out,
searching for a suitable human to act as a channel for its wisdom, the alien –
a shakasta noma from the Rigel System – mistook the minds of the two lovers for
one human mind…they were practising tantric sex at the time…
PANEL 3 – Medium shot on a shakasta noma (whatever they
look like) in a deep meditation. Above
them is a vision of a human man and woman having sex (he is sitting
cross-legged and she is sitting on him, facing him with her legs around
him). Physically the man and woman are
pretty average specimens. It looks like
they’re in the throes of their climax.
CAPTION – …In attempting to upgrade the DNA of the
copulating couple, from two-strand to twelve-strand, it made an error, causing
a temporal rift. Now the young man and
woman are each functioning in six dimensions simultaneously. This is responsible for their powers and
great physiques.
PANEL 4 – Close on MELANIE trying to keep an open
expression.
MELANIE: Right-o.
SUE (out of shot): Uh huh.
PANEL 5 – Close on SUE continuing her story.
SUE: I also spoke to the publisher of If and Io’s
unofficial biography: Gods and Geeks.
PANEL 6 – Another bust shot of the three friends. JON is intent on munching away at the chocolates
while SUE and MELANIE talk.
SUE: According to that, If and Io don’t really exist but
are, in fact, remotely controlled special effects put together by a rather
exclusive group of computer nerds who meet online and help each other hack
military, scientific and corporate systems, using what exotic, top secret
technologies they find to indulge their superhero fantasies.
MELANIE: Well, yeah…why wouldn’t they?
PAGE 20
PANEL 1 – Bust shot of SUE talking further.
SUE: The third origin story has allegedly leaked onto the
net from somebody who knows Alberto Monza, the director of the forthcoming If
and Io movie, Mystic Storm.
PANEL 2 – Medium shot on SUE and MELANIE talking.
SUE: In the film If and Io are universal archetypes born of
the collective consciousness (or subconscious) of humanity and given flesh by a
twelfth dimensional magus intent on protecting Earth from a sudden, and not
always benevolent, increase in interest in the planet from more advanced
civilisations in the galaxy.
PANEL 3 – Close on MELANIE.
MELANIE: Jeepers.
SUE (out of shot): That’s right.
PANEL 4 – Close shot on JON chomping on chocolates.
SUE (out of shot): And the forth origin story, the best and
most likely story, didn’t come from anybody at the convention at all but somebody
that Jon talked to!
JON (mumbling through mouth full of chocolate): Dum
schtrait.
PANEL 5 – Wide shot on the room.
MELANIE: Really?
SUE: While I was researching my butt off, up to my ears in
beautiful, greasy geek boys, Jon, just after his Q and A session at the
Metamorphics Foundation, was talking to their hard assets focaliser, and she
reckons that If and Io are a pair of entangled meta-singularities, the product
of a meta-equation discovered by a nineteen year old student of
meta-mathematics while doing homework for an assignment involving the structure
of self aware particles.
MELANIE: Hey! That
does sound plausible!
PAGE 21
PANEL 1 – JON and SUE’s bedroom. Medium shot on SUE, down to her underwear, taking her bra
off. JON is in bed already, looking at
her with a tired expression. The room
is lit by a wall light above the headboard of the bed.
SUE: Hey, you glad to be back?
JON: Glad to be back where the insane people haven’t got
access to anything more harmful than bad breath.
PANEL 2 – Medium shot of SUE, the drawn curtains of the
window behind her. She’s draping her
bra over the back of a chair.
SUE: I don’t know…Melanie could probably do some damage
with one of her scarves. Will you put
the light out?
JON: No pyjamas, is it?
PANEL 3 – Shot as previous but the bedroom light is now
off. SUE’s silhouette can be seen
against the dim square of curtained window.
She’s taking her knickers off.
SUE: Don’t you think I’m overdue for a service?
JON: That’s as may be, but I’m tired.
PANEL 4 – Black panel.
SUE: You haven’t done anything all evening. Where are you?
JON: I’m emotionally tired. Ooh! Careful!
PANEL 5 – Black panel.
SUE: Oops, sorry.
Hey, there you are. And you
don’t feel so tired.
JON: Alright, fair enough…but it’s gonna have to be sleepy
sex. You go on top and do all the work.
PANEL 6 – Black panel.
SUE: Is that a command, oh Master?
JON: Aaah! Yes, it is.
Obey me.
PANEL 7 – Black panel.
SUE: If I must, oh Severe One. Mmm…mmm…
JON: Oh Lordy! Ah!
PANEL 8 – Black panel.
SUE: Oh…that’s it, my baby…you’re so good to me…
JON: Uh! Ah! Cuh, can you hear something?
PANEL 9 – Black panel.
SFX (giant letters): KABOOM!
JON & SUE: HOLY FUCK!
PANEL 10 – It’s dark outside as JON
emerges from the front door wearing a dressing gown and heads along the side of
the chalet followed by SUE wearing a hastily thrown on shirt. They’re both looking stressed.
PANEL 11 – Bust shot of JON and SUE
coming around the corner of the chalet and looking through the camera. Their faces are lit up as though by a
campfire.
SUE: Oh my god!
PAGE 22
PANEL 1 – Whole page.
Wide shot. SUE and JON stand by
the side of the chalet in the foreground looking at the neighbouring field
where a giant spaceship is lying amidst mounds of churned up earth. Smoke is rising from it.
JON: Oh, what? Kiss
my arse!
END OF PART 1
